It's X'mas eve and I'm feeling terribly unhappy. Why just a small wish, a simple wish as that can't be fulfilled? Just a movie, just a small gift for myself, why no? Why can't I have a thing as simple as that?
It wasn't me being not thankful but I'm just being self conscious. I know who am I too clearly so what? At least I'm the money-minded one or do you wish I am? Being around them just make me the dimmest light of all. Bet it's the first time I'm so unhappy during X'mas, sigh. Am I not being thankful to God? Sigh...
Whatever you see or hear may not be the way you think it is.
A truth is a truth, a perception is a perception.
Not all perceptions are truths.
You see what's outside of me but you see nothing inside of me. You don't know what I'm thinking, what I really want and who I really am. But I'm pretty sure what you think about me is wrong. The truth is, I cared and still care. Couldn't deny it that I'm still leading my life happily everyday but no one sees the missing part in my life. I never told anyone about it and don't want to either. All I want is to find back the missing part someday.
It was suppose to be a happy day, a day of reunion, a day of joy, a day of fun, a day of everything, but something is missing. Though it's still a happy day, it was a day of incomplete as well. Something which was suppose to be there wasn't there. Why? Just because a misunderstanding, a misconception I suppose. Didn't expect that incompleteness anyway but what can I do? Something passed and it becomes a past. Past can never be changed but future is our choice. It's not easy to do something but when I'm ready to do it, you chose to fail me. Couldn't do anything bout it but just wait for a second time maybe. Things come and go, but you stay. You're a part that I chose to keep.
A truth is a truth, a perception is a perception.
Not all perceptions are truths.
You see what's outside of me but you see nothing inside of me. You don't know what I'm thinking, what I really want and who I really am. But I'm pretty sure what you think about me is wrong. The truth is, I cared and still care. Couldn't deny it that I'm still leading my life happily everyday but no one sees the missing part in my life. I never told anyone about it and don't want to either. All I want is to find back the missing part someday.
It was suppose to be a happy day, a day of reunion, a day of joy, a day of fun, a day of everything, but something is missing. Though it's still a happy day, it was a day of incomplete as well. Something which was suppose to be there wasn't there. Why? Just because a misunderstanding, a misconception I suppose. Didn't expect that incompleteness anyway but what can I do? Something passed and it becomes a past. Past can never be changed but future is our choice. It's not easy to do something but when I'm ready to do it, you chose to fail me. Couldn't do anything bout it but just wait for a second time maybe. Things come and go, but you stay. You're a part that I chose to keep.
I thought I will never cry because of it... because of you all again...
I failed... My eyes are bathed with tears while talking and making it clear to you...
I just realised that I still care bout you all... And the hurt you all did is too much to bear...
Your apology might be a little too late... But it's alright...
And if it isn't because of the 10years I will say "I don't freaking care".
Just hope that you all will never do that again... Cause it really really hurt a lot...
I failed... My eyes are bathed with tears while talking and making it clear to you...
I just realised that I still care bout you all... And the hurt you all did is too much to bear...
Your apology might be a little too late... But it's alright...
And if it isn't because of the 10years I will say "I don't freaking care".
Just hope that you all will never do that again... Cause it really really hurt a lot...
哈哈哈。。。
虽然有点过份，但是你们真的很好笑。
突然觉得你好幸运认识他们。
当初让我觉得自卑的事，现在反而让我觉得庆幸。
如果没有这样的安排，也许就看不到你们那爱玩的样子了。
没想到在我不愉快的时候，竟然是你们让我笑了。
很喜欢看到你们那种捣蛋，顽皮又好笑的模样。
也许很多人认为你们坏，连我自己也曾这么想。
可是现在我觉得你们只是好玩。
要保持这种快乐。
希望你们彼此珍惜，好朋友不易找哦。
祝你们好运。
虽然有点过份，但是你们真的很好笑。
突然觉得你好幸运认识他们。
当初让我觉得自卑的事，现在反而让我觉得庆幸。
如果没有这样的安排，也许就看不到你们那爱玩的样子了。
没想到在我不愉快的时候，竟然是你们让我笑了。
很喜欢看到你们那种捣蛋，顽皮又好笑的模样。
也许很多人认为你们坏，连我自己也曾这么想。
可是现在我觉得你们只是好玩。
要保持这种快乐。
希望你们彼此珍惜，好朋友不易找哦。
祝你们好运。
是好奇还是关心?
没关系，对我来说没分别。
我很感谢你让我体验到何谓新的永远是比较好的。
我从来没想过会如此被对待-很失望，很伤心。
因为太在意你的所作所为，我伤了自己。
曾经因为你而流的眼泪，突然觉得好不值得。
没关系，这是因为我笨。
可是我又再一次因为你而流泪。
但这次我不后悔。
我哭得起，这眼泪我流得起。
而且我庆幸我为你流泪。。。因为这证明了我不像你-冷清。
曾经把我自己的故事都讲给你听，丝毫不留的讲完一切。
对你我更本没有防备之心。
我后悔了。
防人之心不可无，是真的。
虽然你不算背叛我对你的信赖，但已足够造成很大的伤害。
不管一个人对你有多好，也许明天他以经把你忘了。
我想我买的那本书，那支笔，应该用不着了吧。
你如何对待我，我要学会不去介意。
至少不会再被伤害。
除此之外，还要学会独立。
不再依靠你了。
再过一段时间我就不用看到你了。
到时候，将会是个新的开始。
谢谢你曾经带给我的快乐。
那种快乐就像彩虹，始终会消失。
如今彩虹渐渐消失。
有点不舍得，因为这彩虹陪伴我太旧了。
可是我还是要放手-再把他遗忘。
我的世界下了两天雨。现在是阴天。
正所谓雨过天晴。 我相信我世界会回到晴天. It's just a matter of time.
我已经渐渐接受现实-我不属于你的世界。
没关系，对我来说没分别。
我很感谢你让我体验到何谓新的永远是比较好的。
我从来没想过会如此被对待-很失望，很伤心。
因为太在意你的所作所为，我伤了自己。
曾经因为你而流的眼泪，突然觉得好不值得。
没关系，这是因为我笨。
可是我又再一次因为你而流泪。
但这次我不后悔。
我哭得起，这眼泪我流得起。
而且我庆幸我为你流泪。。。因为这证明了我不像你-冷清。
曾经把我自己的故事都讲给你听，丝毫不留的讲完一切。
对你我更本没有防备之心。
我后悔了。
防人之心不可无，是真的。
虽然你不算背叛我对你的信赖，但已足够造成很大的伤害。
不管一个人对你有多好，也许明天他以经把你忘了。
我想我买的那本书，那支笔，应该用不着了吧。
你如何对待我，我要学会不去介意。
至少不会再被伤害。
除此之外，还要学会独立。
不再依靠你了。
再过一段时间我就不用看到你了。
到时候，将会是个新的开始。
谢谢你曾经带给我的快乐。
那种快乐就像彩虹，始终会消失。
如今彩虹渐渐消失。
有点不舍得，因为这彩虹陪伴我太旧了。
可是我还是要放手-再把他遗忘。
我的世界下了两天雨。现在是阴天。
正所谓雨过天晴。 我相信我世界会回到晴天. It's just a matter of time.
我已经渐渐接受现实-我不属于你的世界。
For four long years we'd been together. There's never a day that we're not talking to each other, not even when you're oversea. But why didn't you bother to message me today? Why? When did you started to be a ruthless guy? What make you become one? You lied about how much you love me, how much you miss me everyday, how you wish to be with me everyday. Lies, lies and more lies. Does that mean it's time for us to end this chaotic relationship? Don't ask me why didn't I message you instead, because I wanted to know how much I matter to you. I got the answer. Thank you so so much for letting me know how much you NEED me. Can you bear not talking to me for an hour in the past? I doubt so. Now? I think you don't wish to talk to me at all. I know there's a lot of girls much better than myself revolving around you everyday. If you want to be with them I don't mine. All you have to do is just tell me and I'll let go. Why do you wanna torture me this way? Just why? You could just ditch me, leave me and be with them. Is "mercy" ever in your dictionary?
You can give all those damn reasons that you're busy with your studies or that I'm too busy with my games and friends and all but I know those are all just excuses! Nothing can ever stop you from talking to me if you really want to. Its just that you don't love me anymore and wish not talk to me. But why drag? Just say the word and you can do whatever you want. It's not easy to stop myself from messaging you. Though I succeeded but I'm not happy. I miss you. I know you care no more bout me, just that I'm still being an idiot thinking that you still love me though I know you hate me more than you love me. Why do I still thinking bout the past, thinking the way you hold my hands, the way you hug me, you saying "I Love You" and all. Why? Why do i wanna miss you? Yeah I know. Because I'm stupid. I'm a total idiot.
You can give all those damn reasons that you're busy with your studies or that I'm too busy with my games and friends and all but I know those are all just excuses! Nothing can ever stop you from talking to me if you really want to. Its just that you don't love me anymore and wish not talk to me. But why drag? Just say the word and you can do whatever you want. It's not easy to stop myself from messaging you. Though I succeeded but I'm not happy. I miss you. I know you care no more bout me, just that I'm still being an idiot thinking that you still love me though I know you hate me more than you love me. Why do I still thinking bout the past, thinking the way you hold my hands, the way you hug me, you saying "I Love You" and all. Why? Why do i wanna miss you? Yeah I know. Because I'm stupid. I'm a total idiot.
Wooo... Time flies. In a blink of eyes and it's already gonna be June. Which means 5more months to SPM. That sucks. Why do I feel time passes a little too fast these days? Mid-term exam is just tomorrow and here I am, online still busy with RC. ahahaha
Seriously have no idea what scores I gonna get. Just pray hard that I don't fail any subjects. God knows how terrible it was if I fail any subjects. And I studied even when exam was far away, something I'd never done in the past. So if my results get worse, screw it. So 10 subjects in 2 weeks.Then it's holiday ( which means unlimited sleeping time =D ). Holiday..... girl, maybe you should not put too much hope in that beach trip or you'll be really disappointed. Haha
Seriously have no idea what scores I gonna get. Just pray hard that I don't fail any subjects. God knows how terrible it was if I fail any subjects. And I studied even when exam was far away, something I'd never done in the past. So if my results get worse, screw it. So 10 subjects in 2 weeks.Then it's holiday ( which means unlimited sleeping time =D ). Holiday..... girl, maybe you should not put too much hope in that beach trip or you'll be really disappointed. Haha
Nope. You don't understand how I feel AT ALL. What else do you know other than hurting me EVERYDAY? You say you love me? Proof it. What else do you know other than blaming me for everything? What else do you know other than saying that I caused all these chaos? You want me to admit my mistakes but not even once you admitted yours. What's all these? L-O-V-E? For me, not at all!!
6th May~
Got my very first own laptop. This was awesome- Dell Inspiron!! Never thought I will get a laptop before my SPM as both my sisters got it after their SPM. Dad had said he ordered a laptop but called it 'his laptop'. So I thought it was supposed to be his. Suprisingly the laptop come home today and dad says "you take the new laptop, the old one is mine." I'm like "huh? I thought it was yours?" but nevermind. Kept quiet. Hahaha
If I was given a choice I would have chose pink, but it's ok. Black looks elegant. And it's design was quite nice. Love it. After all my sisters' laptops are acer's and only mine was Dell. kekeke
Thanks dad. Love you much~
I gotta study hard so that i deserve this gift!!
7th May~
Wow. Why do I feel so tired today? All I wanted to do was sleep and sleep. Thank goodness first two classes are free period and i can sleep. I even used my lunch time for sleeping. Though I ate during recess but I still feel hungry. Gosh, what happened to me? I'd never feel hungry in the past. Why nowadays it seems I'm feeling hungry always? But thanks to my lovely friend's bread. A bite of it make my hunger flee immediately, just a bite, I swear. But it's just a bite! Is my stomach really that small? I can eat a lot when I want to, trust me. But I myself couldn't believe that a small piece of bread would be able to keep me from starving. LOL
Niwayz, thanks for the bread, cicak! haha
It's finally time to go home. Waited for the school van to come and OHMIGOD!! For the first time I witness a road accident. At first I only hear some dragging sound on the road, then a motorist fell. He didn't wear his helmet properly and so the helmet came off. I guess he knocked his head and fainted but was conscious again soon. I was like "Oh shit,shit, shit! God, bless that guy!" I nearly cry cause it scare the hell outta me! Thankfully the motorist was able to move by himself, though it seems he's a little dizzy cause he seems swaying. Coincidently, a poliwce car was passing by, so I think they took him to the hospital. The car's left side mirror was broken. Luckily it wasn't something horrible and bloody, or I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. God bless~
Got my very first own laptop. This was awesome- Dell Inspiron!! Never thought I will get a laptop before my SPM as both my sisters got it after their SPM. Dad had said he ordered a laptop but called it 'his laptop'. So I thought it was supposed to be his. Suprisingly the laptop come home today and dad says "you take the new laptop, the old one is mine." I'm like "huh? I thought it was yours?" but nevermind. Kept quiet. Hahaha
If I was given a choice I would have chose pink, but it's ok. Black looks elegant. And it's design was quite nice. Love it. After all my sisters' laptops are acer's and only mine was Dell. kekeke
Thanks dad. Love you much~
I gotta study hard so that i deserve this gift!!
7th May~
Wow. Why do I feel so tired today? All I wanted to do was sleep and sleep. Thank goodness first two classes are free period and i can sleep. I even used my lunch time for sleeping. Though I ate during recess but I still feel hungry. Gosh, what happened to me? I'd never feel hungry in the past. Why nowadays it seems I'm feeling hungry always? But thanks to my lovely friend's bread. A bite of it make my hunger flee immediately, just a bite, I swear. But it's just a bite! Is my stomach really that small? I can eat a lot when I want to, trust me. But I myself couldn't believe that a small piece of bread would be able to keep me from starving. LOL
Niwayz, thanks for the bread, cicak! haha
It's finally time to go home. Waited for the school van to come and OHMIGOD!! For the first time I witness a road accident. At first I only hear some dragging sound on the road, then a motorist fell. He didn't wear his helmet properly and so the helmet came off. I guess he knocked his head and fainted but was conscious again soon. I was like "Oh shit,shit, shit! God, bless that guy!" I nearly cry cause it scare the hell outta me! Thankfully the motorist was able to move by himself, though it seems he's a little dizzy cause he seems swaying. Coincidently, a poliwce car was passing by, so I think they took him to the hospital. The car's left side mirror was broken. Luckily it wasn't something horrible and bloody, or I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. God bless~
Here comes the Sunday and I'm suppose to go for a 3hours tuition class?? Hell no.
Dude, are you insane putting class on Sunday? Ha-ha-ha
For sure I'm not attending. :P
So I went back hometown. Dad drove the new Suzuki SX4. A little too pack for 6 people to sit in. What make it worse is I'm sitting by the window and for don't know how many times I knocked my head. Dammit.
So we went for breakfast at somewhere, ate pan mee. That place was like, eww..., but we still sat and eat. OMG!! Wipe the table with a tissue and the tissue turns black! Yer~ What's more disgusting was a lizard climbed onto sis's leg!! Wahseh, that was like super duper disgusting. Lizards are disgusting!
Kay, then continue our journey back to hometown. Dropped dad at the golf club first then mom asked second sis learn to drive there. Damn, I was like so boring and wanted to sleep. Ergh~
But finally eldest sis took over and drove back to grandparents' place. Went to dad's side's first. Had some chicken and a herbal egg. Quite okay. Then went to mom's side's. God... It was so so hot! I feet so sticky and boring. Mom, grandma and cousin sis played lami mahjong. We younger kids have nothing to do other than watch TV and sleep. Basically all of us, I mean 4 of us slept. Finally the clock struck 6 pm and it was time to fetch dad from the golf club. Went home and went over to opposite neighbor's house to eat since they invited earlier this morning. The food was okay. They was actually celebrating someone 60th birthday. Oh well~
My family thought it wouldn't be much things to be eaten so we actually packed 3 pack of noodles. And there the noodle is on the table now. Doubt it could be finish. Hahaha
Dude, are you insane putting class on Sunday? Ha-ha-ha
For sure I'm not attending. :P
So I went back hometown. Dad drove the new Suzuki SX4. A little too pack for 6 people to sit in. What make it worse is I'm sitting by the window and for don't know how many times I knocked my head. Dammit.
So we went for breakfast at somewhere, ate pan mee. That place was like, eww..., but we still sat and eat. OMG!! Wipe the table with a tissue and the tissue turns black! Yer~ What's more disgusting was a lizard climbed onto sis's leg!! Wahseh, that was like super duper disgusting. Lizards are disgusting!
Kay, then continue our journey back to hometown. Dropped dad at the golf club first then mom asked second sis learn to drive there. Damn, I was like so boring and wanted to sleep. Ergh~
But finally eldest sis took over and drove back to grandparents' place. Went to dad's side's first. Had some chicken and a herbal egg. Quite okay. Then went to mom's side's. God... It was so so hot! I feet so sticky and boring. Mom, grandma and cousin sis played lami mahjong. We younger kids have nothing to do other than watch TV and sleep. Basically all of us, I mean 4 of us slept. Finally the clock struck 6 pm and it was time to fetch dad from the golf club. Went home and went over to opposite neighbor's house to eat since they invited earlier this morning. The food was okay. They was actually celebrating someone 60th birthday. Oh well~
My family thought it wouldn't be much things to be eaten so we actually packed 3 pack of noodles. And there the noodle is on the table now. Doubt it could be finish. Hahaha
Mom woke me up at 11.30 a.m this morning, though by 9 am i was already awake just that I'm still in bed, and went out for shopping right after I bathed and dressed up. Didn't even take a proper breakfast meal. Only had a small cup of water and a small piece of bread. lol
First stop was The Store at Petaling Jaya. Not really thrilled cause that place only has groceries and clothes and partially because a little unhappy, or i should say angry cause of an incident yesterday. Anyway, just went and walk around and look at the clothes. Not really interested even though they are having sale cause I have a lot of clothes already, more than enough actually cause it was like once in a blue moon for me to go shopping. Places I go are usually supermarkets like Giant, Econsave and Tesco and not shopping centres, so what's the point dressing up so beautifully? Besides it's kinda weird right? Haha
Niwayz, was looking around for some short pants cause I sort of lack of it. It seems only Institute has shorts! Damn, boring. Institute's shorts are just not my style. Previously bought 2 shorts which was Institute's. The first one was okay as it is plain black and NOT LOOSE. The second one, well, I think I only wore it like... erm... twice? It was loose for me even it is S size!! So... yeah, not gonna buy Institute's shorts anymore. :P
Then continued my hunt at other brand's department. Like I said, it seems only Institute has shorts, so of course my hunt failed. Sad. But when I came to one of my favorite brand, that's VJ Jeans' department, some long pants attracted me. Okay, so it was actually the pink and black belt on the pants that attracts me LOL
I looked at the quarter length pants first, cause I wanted to buy one also. It was quite okay, has 2 colors, brown and black. Couldn't decide which to choose so grab both of it. Then look at the long pants, looks great. So grab it also and went to the fitting room. So the black quarter length pants look good. The brown... erm... no, not my style. And then the long black pants... AWESOME!!! I love it. It makes my legs look great!! It hugs my leg tight but it's comfortable and make it look slender and long, and isn't that what a girl wants? hehehe
But here come the problem... Indecisive. Should I take the long o quarter length pants? Damn!! I hate making decisions. Like hell I love both of it but since it seems I won't be going out frequently it's better to choose only one. But I love both of them!! So mommy says, "Your choice. Take both of it if you want and then you won't have to buy clothes anymore." Woosh~ So I took both of them!! Haha...
Mom and sisters bought some clothes too. And I asked mommy to buy the sharkfin melon, to make soup, cause I like it. So she bought it and some other groceries and we went home~~ Wee~~ Da bao food on the way home... I'm so hungry!!
So reach home, eat, rest. It was like around 3 pm when we reach home and by 4.45 pm or so we went out for second station!! Wooh~
And it's Leisure Mall~~
Nothing for me to buy in LM. So just walked around, or maybe I call it exercise. Damn, just knew that I was actually stupid. Reached at the first buliding, the cinema side, went to Watson, looked around, went to the other building, the boutiques side, and went to Guardian in the same building. Planned to buy somethings I wanted to buy long ago. Why choose Guardian? Cause I thought of collecting the stickers to get the soft toys... Haha
But dammit, they either sell more expensive than Watson or they don't have the thing I want. So to hell with the stickers. :P
And here comes the stupidity. Went into Giant opposite Guardian, looked for mom, found mom, and decided to go back to Watson to buy something. So I went back to Watson, taking back the path I used to go to the boutiques' building, reached Watson, buy my stuff, and decided to go back to the other building to look for mom. So I took the same path AGAIN and when I found mom she just paid in Giant and wanted to go back to the other building( the Watson one)since our car is parked that side. And so I take the path AGAIN!! This is how stupid I can be. =.=
What's for dinner? Fried rice and the leftover chicken rice da bao in the noon and DUMPLING!! yummy~ I helped. I'm a stupid but a good girl. Wakaka
I helped to wash the mountain of dishes too!!
Okay... So this post is a little too long. Thank you and congratz if you read the whole post. Sorry if you didn't cause I know it's boring... Tata~~ :-)
First stop was The Store at Petaling Jaya. Not really thrilled cause that place only has groceries and clothes and partially because a little unhappy, or i should say angry cause of an incident yesterday. Anyway, just went and walk around and look at the clothes. Not really interested even though they are having sale cause I have a lot of clothes already, more than enough actually cause it was like once in a blue moon for me to go shopping. Places I go are usually supermarkets like Giant, Econsave and Tesco and not shopping centres, so what's the point dressing up so beautifully? Besides it's kinda weird right? Haha
Niwayz, was looking around for some short pants cause I sort of lack of it. It seems only Institute has shorts! Damn, boring. Institute's shorts are just not my style. Previously bought 2 shorts which was Institute's. The first one was okay as it is plain black and NOT LOOSE. The second one, well, I think I only wore it like... erm... twice? It was loose for me even it is S size!! So... yeah, not gonna buy Institute's shorts anymore. :P
Then continued my hunt at other brand's department. Like I said, it seems only Institute has shorts, so of course my hunt failed. Sad. But when I came to one of my favorite brand, that's VJ Jeans' department, some long pants attracted me. Okay, so it was actually the pink and black belt on the pants that attracts me LOL
I looked at the quarter length pants first, cause I wanted to buy one also. It was quite okay, has 2 colors, brown and black. Couldn't decide which to choose so grab both of it. Then look at the long pants, looks great. So grab it also and went to the fitting room. So the black quarter length pants look good. The brown... erm... no, not my style. And then the long black pants... AWESOME!!! I love it. It makes my legs look great!! It hugs my leg tight but it's comfortable and make it look slender and long, and isn't that what a girl wants? hehehe
But here come the problem... Indecisive. Should I take the long o quarter length pants? Damn!! I hate making decisions. Like hell I love both of it but since it seems I won't be going out frequently it's better to choose only one. But I love both of them!! So mommy says, "Your choice. Take both of it if you want and then you won't have to buy clothes anymore." Woosh~ So I took both of them!! Haha...
Mom and sisters bought some clothes too. And I asked mommy to buy the sharkfin melon, to make soup, cause I like it. So she bought it and some other groceries and we went home~~ Wee~~ Da bao food on the way home... I'm so hungry!!
So reach home, eat, rest. It was like around 3 pm when we reach home and by 4.45 pm or so we went out for second station!! Wooh~
And it's Leisure Mall~~
Nothing for me to buy in LM. So just walked around, or maybe I call it exercise. Damn, just knew that I was actually stupid. Reached at the first buliding, the cinema side, went to Watson, looked around, went to the other building, the boutiques side, and went to Guardian in the same building. Planned to buy somethings I wanted to buy long ago. Why choose Guardian? Cause I thought of collecting the stickers to get the soft toys... Haha
But dammit, they either sell more expensive than Watson or they don't have the thing I want. So to hell with the stickers. :P
And here comes the stupidity. Went into Giant opposite Guardian, looked for mom, found mom, and decided to go back to Watson to buy something. So I went back to Watson, taking back the path I used to go to the boutiques' building, reached Watson, buy my stuff, and decided to go back to the other building to look for mom. So I took the same path AGAIN and when I found mom she just paid in Giant and wanted to go back to the other building( the Watson one)since our car is parked that side. And so I take the path AGAIN!! This is how stupid I can be. =.=
What's for dinner? Fried rice and the leftover chicken rice da bao in the noon and DUMPLING!! yummy~ I helped. I'm a stupid but a good girl. Wakaka
I helped to wash the mountain of dishes too!!
Okay... So this post is a little too long. Thank you and congratz if you read the whole post. Sorry if you didn't cause I know it's boring... Tata~~ :-)
OMG!!! How nice is it to talk bout the past. Just had a roughly 30minutes chat with Miss Bee and I started to miss my past like hell. No doubt past times are always the best, especially childhood. My best times was when I'm 12 years old. I have my great and crazy friends & my wonderful lovely teachers. The laughter and fun we had always remains in my mind and never be erased. Sometime I really really wish that time is reversible. Life would be much more easier. I do not stress like now, do not worry as much as i do now, even studies are easier. All I have to do everyday was to laugh with you all. I'd never dislike any classmates or teachers like I do nowadays. I just miss the time with you all. I could not describe what I'm feeling right now. All I could say was that I MISS TIME WITH YOU ALL, MY TRUE FRIENDS!
OMG! What a lame school i'm in?! How can electric supplies got cut in the middle of an event? Why can't you change the lame old mic so that we can hear clearer? Why can't you just improve a little so that you never embarrass yourself? Oh God~~
I'm close to tears. Again you're blaming me. Why can't you see your mistakes? Why do you always pinpoint other's when you're not any better? I know you'll never understand how I feel.
I'm feeling so miserable. Why can't you understand my feelings? I've been with you for 4years and yet you never thank me once for supporting. How long have you know them? Yet you're thanking them in public for supporting you as if i did nothing for you and I don't deserve to be appreciated.
Sadness overwhelmed me. Causing me unable to sleep. Just like the song "Breakeven", "while I'm awake he's no trouble sleeping". You don't know that i cried because of you. You don't know that you caused my heart to ache. All you know is that I'm not good enough, not being patient. What you expect from me after a month of isolation from you? All you know is send me a message whenever you want and ignore me TOTALLY whenever you want too.
I'm still awake at 1a.m when you probably having sweet dreams. Feeling so deeply hurt that I can feel nothing else. Though I feel a little better after crying but that doesn't help me to get to sleep. Keep turning in the bed, keep thinking bout you and me, putting myself into a more miserable state. It's 2.53 a.m, cried for the second time. But you're still sleeping.
I have no idea what I can do to let myself relax my mind and sleep. I tried not to think, but I think more instead. Say the prayer in my head again and again, thankfully it worked. I feel better, more calm and soothe. I started to feel tired, and able to sleep slightly after 3.
Why do we always get the wrong timing? I'm asleep around 3 and your message is 3.15.
Why do you put all the blames on me? I'm still sad. Yeah I'm treating you cold, but you deserve it! I want you to feel how I feel, though I know you might never know how I feel. All you think is yourself. There's more room for your friends and less for me. When will you start to realize how much you hurt me?
Sadness overwhelmed me. Causing me unable to sleep. Just like the song "Breakeven", "while I'm awake he's no trouble sleeping". You don't know that i cried because of you. You don't know that you caused my heart to ache. All you know is that I'm not good enough, not being patient. What you expect from me after a month of isolation from you? All you know is send me a message whenever you want and ignore me TOTALLY whenever you want too.
I'm still awake at 1a.m when you probably having sweet dreams. Feeling so deeply hurt that I can feel nothing else. Though I feel a little better after crying but that doesn't help me to get to sleep. Keep turning in the bed, keep thinking bout you and me, putting myself into a more miserable state. It's 2.53 a.m, cried for the second time. But you're still sleeping.
I have no idea what I can do to let myself relax my mind and sleep. I tried not to think, but I think more instead. Say the prayer in my head again and again, thankfully it worked. I feel better, more calm and soothe. I started to feel tired, and able to sleep slightly after 3.
Why do we always get the wrong timing? I'm asleep around 3 and your message is 3.15.
Why do you put all the blames on me? I'm still sad. Yeah I'm treating you cold, but you deserve it! I want you to feel how I feel, though I know you might never know how I feel. All you think is yourself. There's more room for your friends and less for me. When will you start to realize how much you hurt me?
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Friday, December 24, 2010
X'mas eve...
It's X'mas eve and I'm feeling terribly unhappy. Why just a small wish, a simple wish as that can't be fulfilled? Just a movie, just a small gift for myself, why no? Why can't I have a thing as simple as that?
It wasn't me being not thankful but I'm just being self conscious. I know who am I too clearly so what? At least I'm the money-minded one or do you wish I am? Being around them just make me the dimmest light of all. Bet it's the first time I'm so unhappy during X'mas, sigh. Am I not being thankful to God? Sigh...
It wasn't me being not thankful but I'm just being self conscious. I know who am I too clearly so what? At least I'm the money-minded one or do you wish I am? Being around them just make me the dimmest light of all. Bet it's the first time I'm so unhappy during X'mas, sigh. Am I not being thankful to God? Sigh...
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Perceptions and truths
Whatever you see or hear may not be the way you think it is.
A truth is a truth, a perception is a perception.
Not all perceptions are truths.
You see what's outside of me but you see nothing inside of me. You don't know what I'm thinking, what I really want and who I really am. But I'm pretty sure what you think about me is wrong. The truth is, I cared and still care. Couldn't deny it that I'm still leading my life happily everyday but no one sees the missing part in my life. I never told anyone about it and don't want to either. All I want is to find back the missing part someday.
It was suppose to be a happy day, a day of reunion, a day of joy, a day of fun, a day of everything, but something is missing. Though it's still a happy day, it was a day of incomplete as well. Something which was suppose to be there wasn't there. Why? Just because a misunderstanding, a misconception I suppose. Didn't expect that incompleteness anyway but what can I do? Something passed and it becomes a past. Past can never be changed but future is our choice. It's not easy to do something but when I'm ready to do it, you chose to fail me. Couldn't do anything bout it but just wait for a second time maybe. Things come and go, but you stay. You're a part that I chose to keep.
A truth is a truth, a perception is a perception.
Not all perceptions are truths.
You see what's outside of me but you see nothing inside of me. You don't know what I'm thinking, what I really want and who I really am. But I'm pretty sure what you think about me is wrong. The truth is, I cared and still care. Couldn't deny it that I'm still leading my life happily everyday but no one sees the missing part in my life. I never told anyone about it and don't want to either. All I want is to find back the missing part someday.
It was suppose to be a happy day, a day of reunion, a day of joy, a day of fun, a day of everything, but something is missing. Though it's still a happy day, it was a day of incomplete as well. Something which was suppose to be there wasn't there. Why? Just because a misunderstanding, a misconception I suppose. Didn't expect that incompleteness anyway but what can I do? Something passed and it becomes a past. Past can never be changed but future is our choice. It's not easy to do something but when I'm ready to do it, you chose to fail me. Couldn't do anything bout it but just wait for a second time maybe. Things come and go, but you stay. You're a part that I chose to keep.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
I failed~
I thought I will never cry because of it... because of you all again...
I failed... My eyes are bathed with tears while talking and making it clear to you...
I just realised that I still care bout you all... And the hurt you all did is too much to bear...
Your apology might be a little too late... But it's alright...
And if it isn't because of the 10years I will say "I don't freaking care".
Just hope that you all will never do that again... Cause it really really hurt a lot...
I failed... My eyes are bathed with tears while talking and making it clear to you...
I just realised that I still care bout you all... And the hurt you all did is too much to bear...
Your apology might be a little too late... But it's alright...
And if it isn't because of the 10years I will say "I don't freaking care".
Just hope that you all will never do that again... Cause it really really hurt a lot...
Friday, August 6, 2010
珍惜~~
哈哈哈。。。
虽然有点过份，但是你们真的很好笑。
突然觉得你好幸运认识他们。
当初让我觉得自卑的事，现在反而让我觉得庆幸。
如果没有这样的安排，也许就看不到你们那爱玩的样子了。
没想到在我不愉快的时候，竟然是你们让我笑了。
很喜欢看到你们那种捣蛋，顽皮又好笑的模样。
也许很多人认为你们坏，连我自己也曾这么想。
可是现在我觉得你们只是好玩。
要保持这种快乐。
希望你们彼此珍惜，好朋友不易找哦。
祝你们好运。
虽然有点过份，但是你们真的很好笑。
突然觉得你好幸运认识他们。
当初让我觉得自卑的事，现在反而让我觉得庆幸。
如果没有这样的安排，也许就看不到你们那爱玩的样子了。
没想到在我不愉快的时候，竟然是你们让我笑了。
很喜欢看到你们那种捣蛋，顽皮又好笑的模样。
也许很多人认为你们坏，连我自己也曾这么想。
可是现在我觉得你们只是好玩。
要保持这种快乐。
希望你们彼此珍惜，好朋友不易找哦。
祝你们好运。
Thursday, August 5, 2010
我不属于你的世界
是好奇还是关心?
没关系，对我来说没分别。
我很感谢你让我体验到何谓新的永远是比较好的。
我从来没想过会如此被对待-很失望，很伤心。
因为太在意你的所作所为，我伤了自己。
曾经因为你而流的眼泪，突然觉得好不值得。
没关系，这是因为我笨。
可是我又再一次因为你而流泪。
但这次我不后悔。
我哭得起，这眼泪我流得起。
而且我庆幸我为你流泪。。。因为这证明了我不像你-冷清。
曾经把我自己的故事都讲给你听，丝毫不留的讲完一切。
对你我更本没有防备之心。
我后悔了。
防人之心不可无，是真的。
虽然你不算背叛我对你的信赖，但已足够造成很大的伤害。
不管一个人对你有多好，也许明天他以经把你忘了。
我想我买的那本书，那支笔，应该用不着了吧。
你如何对待我，我要学会不去介意。
至少不会再被伤害。
除此之外，还要学会独立。
不再依靠你了。
再过一段时间我就不用看到你了。
到时候，将会是个新的开始。
谢谢你曾经带给我的快乐。
那种快乐就像彩虹，始终会消失。
如今彩虹渐渐消失。
有点不舍得，因为这彩虹陪伴我太旧了。
可是我还是要放手-再把他遗忘。
我的世界下了两天雨。现在是阴天。
正所谓雨过天晴。 我相信我世界会回到晴天. It's just a matter of time.
我已经渐渐接受现实-我不属于你的世界。
没关系，对我来说没分别。
我很感谢你让我体验到何谓新的永远是比较好的。
我从来没想过会如此被对待-很失望，很伤心。
因为太在意你的所作所为，我伤了自己。
曾经因为你而流的眼泪，突然觉得好不值得。
没关系，这是因为我笨。
可是我又再一次因为你而流泪。
但这次我不后悔。
我哭得起，这眼泪我流得起。
而且我庆幸我为你流泪。。。因为这证明了我不像你-冷清。
曾经把我自己的故事都讲给你听，丝毫不留的讲完一切。
对你我更本没有防备之心。
我后悔了。
防人之心不可无，是真的。
虽然你不算背叛我对你的信赖，但已足够造成很大的伤害。
不管一个人对你有多好，也许明天他以经把你忘了。
我想我买的那本书，那支笔，应该用不着了吧。
你如何对待我，我要学会不去介意。
至少不会再被伤害。
除此之外，还要学会独立。
不再依靠你了。
再过一段时间我就不用看到你了。
到时候，将会是个新的开始。
谢谢你曾经带给我的快乐。
那种快乐就像彩虹，始终会消失。
如今彩虹渐渐消失。
有点不舍得，因为这彩虹陪伴我太旧了。
可是我还是要放手-再把他遗忘。
我的世界下了两天雨。现在是阴天。
正所谓雨过天晴。 我相信我世界会回到晴天. It's just a matter of time.
我已经渐渐接受现实-我不属于你的世界。
Monday, June 7, 2010
I Miss You??
For four long years we'd been together. There's never a day that we're not talking to each other, not even when you're oversea. But why didn't you bother to message me today? Why? When did you started to be a ruthless guy? What make you become one? You lied about how much you love me, how much you miss me everyday, how you wish to be with me everyday. Lies, lies and more lies. Does that mean it's time for us to end this chaotic relationship? Don't ask me why didn't I message you instead, because I wanted to know how much I matter to you. I got the answer. Thank you so so much for letting me know how much you NEED me. Can you bear not talking to me for an hour in the past? I doubt so. Now? I think you don't wish to talk to me at all. I know there's a lot of girls much better than myself revolving around you everyday. If you want to be with them I don't mine. All you have to do is just tell me and I'll let go. Why do you wanna torture me this way? Just why? You could just ditch me, leave me and be with them. Is "mercy" ever in your dictionary?
You can give all those damn reasons that you're busy with your studies or that I'm too busy with my games and friends and all but I know those are all just excuses! Nothing can ever stop you from talking to me if you really want to. Its just that you don't love me anymore and wish not talk to me. But why drag? Just say the word and you can do whatever you want. It's not easy to stop myself from messaging you. Though I succeeded but I'm not happy. I miss you. I know you care no more bout me, just that I'm still being an idiot thinking that you still love me though I know you hate me more than you love me. Why do I still thinking bout the past, thinking the way you hold my hands, the way you hug me, you saying "I Love You" and all. Why? Why do i wanna miss you? Yeah I know. Because I'm stupid. I'm a total idiot.
You can give all those damn reasons that you're busy with your studies or that I'm too busy with my games and friends and all but I know those are all just excuses! Nothing can ever stop you from talking to me if you really want to. Its just that you don't love me anymore and wish not talk to me. But why drag? Just say the word and you can do whatever you want. It's not easy to stop myself from messaging you. Though I succeeded but I'm not happy. I miss you. I know you care no more bout me, just that I'm still being an idiot thinking that you still love me though I know you hate me more than you love me. Why do I still thinking bout the past, thinking the way you hold my hands, the way you hug me, you saying "I Love You" and all. Why? Why do i wanna miss you? Yeah I know. Because I'm stupid. I'm a total idiot.
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Exam!
Wooo... Time flies. In a blink of eyes and it's already gonna be June. Which means 5more months to SPM. That sucks. Why do I feel time passes a little too fast these days? Mid-term exam is just tomorrow and here I am, online still busy with RC. ahahaha
Seriously have no idea what scores I gonna get. Just pray hard that I don't fail any subjects. God knows how terrible it was if I fail any subjects. And I studied even when exam was far away, something I'd never done in the past. So if my results get worse, screw it. So 10 subjects in 2 weeks.Then it's holiday ( which means unlimited sleeping time =D ). Holiday..... girl, maybe you should not put too much hope in that beach trip or you'll be really disappointed. Haha
Seriously have no idea what scores I gonna get. Just pray hard that I don't fail any subjects. God knows how terrible it was if I fail any subjects. And I studied even when exam was far away, something I'd never done in the past. So if my results get worse, screw it. So 10 subjects in 2 weeks.Then it's holiday ( which means unlimited sleeping time =D ). Holiday..... girl, maybe you should not put too much hope in that beach trip or you'll be really disappointed. Haha
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Hurt, hurt and hurt
Nope. You don't understand how I feel AT ALL. What else do you know other than hurting me EVERYDAY? You say you love me? Proof it. What else do you know other than blaming me for everything? What else do you know other than saying that I caused all these chaos? You want me to admit my mistakes but not even once you admitted yours. What's all these? L-O-V-E? For me, not at all!!
Friday, May 7, 2010
6th and 7th May... Hehe
6th May~
Got my very first own laptop. This was awesome- Dell Inspiron!! Never thought I will get a laptop before my SPM as both my sisters got it after their SPM. Dad had said he ordered a laptop but called it 'his laptop'. So I thought it was supposed to be his. Suprisingly the laptop come home today and dad says "you take the new laptop, the old one is mine." I'm like "huh? I thought it was yours?" but nevermind. Kept quiet. Hahaha
If I was given a choice I would have chose pink, but it's ok. Black looks elegant. And it's design was quite nice. Love it. After all my sisters' laptops are acer's and only mine was Dell. kekeke
Thanks dad. Love you much~
I gotta study hard so that i deserve this gift!!
7th May~
Wow. Why do I feel so tired today? All I wanted to do was sleep and sleep. Thank goodness first two classes are free period and i can sleep. I even used my lunch time for sleeping. Though I ate during recess but I still feel hungry. Gosh, what happened to me? I'd never feel hungry in the past. Why nowadays it seems I'm feeling hungry always? But thanks to my lovely friend's bread. A bite of it make my hunger flee immediately, just a bite, I swear. But it's just a bite! Is my stomach really that small? I can eat a lot when I want to, trust me. But I myself couldn't believe that a small piece of bread would be able to keep me from starving. LOL
Niwayz, thanks for the bread, cicak! haha
It's finally time to go home. Waited for the school van to come and OHMIGOD!! For the first time I witness a road accident. At first I only hear some dragging sound on the road, then a motorist fell. He didn't wear his helmet properly and so the helmet came off. I guess he knocked his head and fainted but was conscious again soon. I was like "Oh shit,shit, shit! God, bless that guy!" I nearly cry cause it scare the hell outta me! Thankfully the motorist was able to move by himself, though it seems he's a little dizzy cause he seems swaying. Coincidently, a poliwce car was passing by, so I think they took him to the hospital. The car's left side mirror was broken. Luckily it wasn't something horrible and bloody, or I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. God bless~
Got my very first own laptop. This was awesome- Dell Inspiron!! Never thought I will get a laptop before my SPM as both my sisters got it after their SPM. Dad had said he ordered a laptop but called it 'his laptop'. So I thought it was supposed to be his. Suprisingly the laptop come home today and dad says "you take the new laptop, the old one is mine." I'm like "huh? I thought it was yours?" but nevermind. Kept quiet. Hahaha
If I was given a choice I would have chose pink, but it's ok. Black looks elegant. And it's design was quite nice. Love it. After all my sisters' laptops are acer's and only mine was Dell. kekeke
Thanks dad. Love you much~
I gotta study hard so that i deserve this gift!!
7th May~
Wow. Why do I feel so tired today? All I wanted to do was sleep and sleep. Thank goodness first two classes are free period and i can sleep. I even used my lunch time for sleeping. Though I ate during recess but I still feel hungry. Gosh, what happened to me? I'd never feel hungry in the past. Why nowadays it seems I'm feeling hungry always? But thanks to my lovely friend's bread. A bite of it make my hunger flee immediately, just a bite, I swear. But it's just a bite! Is my stomach really that small? I can eat a lot when I want to, trust me. But I myself couldn't believe that a small piece of bread would be able to keep me from starving. LOL
Niwayz, thanks for the bread, cicak! haha
It's finally time to go home. Waited for the school van to come and OHMIGOD!! For the first time I witness a road accident. At first I only hear some dragging sound on the road, then a motorist fell. He didn't wear his helmet properly and so the helmet came off. I guess he knocked his head and fainted but was conscious again soon. I was like "Oh shit,shit, shit! God, bless that guy!" I nearly cry cause it scare the hell outta me! Thankfully the motorist was able to move by himself, though it seems he's a little dizzy cause he seems swaying. Coincidently, a poliwce car was passing by, so I think they took him to the hospital. The car's left side mirror was broken. Luckily it wasn't something horrible and bloody, or I'm gonna have nightmares tonight. God bless~
Sunday, May 2, 2010
~Sunny Sunday~
Here comes the Sunday and I'm suppose to go for a 3hours tuition class?? Hell no.
Dude, are you insane putting class on Sunday? Ha-ha-ha
For sure I'm not attending. :P
So I went back hometown. Dad drove the new Suzuki SX4. A little too pack for 6 people to sit in. What make it worse is I'm sitting by the window and for don't know how many times I knocked my head. Dammit.
So we went for breakfast at somewhere, ate pan mee. That place was like, eww..., but we still sat and eat. OMG!! Wipe the table with a tissue and the tissue turns black! Yer~ What's more disgusting was a lizard climbed onto sis's leg!! Wahseh, that was like super duper disgusting. Lizards are disgusting!
Kay, then continue our journey back to hometown. Dropped dad at the golf club first then mom asked second sis learn to drive there. Damn, I was like so boring and wanted to sleep. Ergh~
But finally eldest sis took over and drove back to grandparents' place. Went to dad's side's first. Had some chicken and a herbal egg. Quite okay. Then went to mom's side's. God... It was so so hot! I feet so sticky and boring. Mom, grandma and cousin sis played lami mahjong. We younger kids have nothing to do other than watch TV and sleep. Basically all of us, I mean 4 of us slept. Finally the clock struck 6 pm and it was time to fetch dad from the golf club. Went home and went over to opposite neighbor's house to eat since they invited earlier this morning. The food was okay. They was actually celebrating someone 60th birthday. Oh well~
My family thought it wouldn't be much things to be eaten so we actually packed 3 pack of noodles. And there the noodle is on the table now. Doubt it could be finish. Hahaha
Dude, are you insane putting class on Sunday? Ha-ha-ha
For sure I'm not attending. :P
So I went back hometown. Dad drove the new Suzuki SX4. A little too pack for 6 people to sit in. What make it worse is I'm sitting by the window and for don't know how many times I knocked my head. Dammit.
So we went for breakfast at somewhere, ate pan mee. That place was like, eww..., but we still sat and eat. OMG!! Wipe the table with a tissue and the tissue turns black! Yer~ What's more disgusting was a lizard climbed onto sis's leg!! Wahseh, that was like super duper disgusting. Lizards are disgusting!
Kay, then continue our journey back to hometown. Dropped dad at the golf club first then mom asked second sis learn to drive there. Damn, I was like so boring and wanted to sleep. Ergh~
But finally eldest sis took over and drove back to grandparents' place. Went to dad's side's first. Had some chicken and a herbal egg. Quite okay. Then went to mom's side's. God... It was so so hot! I feet so sticky and boring. Mom, grandma and cousin sis played lami mahjong. We younger kids have nothing to do other than watch TV and sleep. Basically all of us, I mean 4 of us slept. Finally the clock struck 6 pm and it was time to fetch dad from the golf club. Went home and went over to opposite neighbor's house to eat since they invited earlier this morning. The food was okay. They was actually celebrating someone 60th birthday. Oh well~
My family thought it wouldn't be much things to be eaten so we actually packed 3 pack of noodles. And there the noodle is on the table now. Doubt it could be finish. Hahaha
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Day for Shopping~
Mom woke me up at 11.30 a.m this morning, though by 9 am i was already awake just that I'm still in bed, and went out for shopping right after I bathed and dressed up. Didn't even take a proper breakfast meal. Only had a small cup of water and a small piece of bread. lol
First stop was The Store at Petaling Jaya. Not really thrilled cause that place only has groceries and clothes and partially because a little unhappy, or i should say angry cause of an incident yesterday. Anyway, just went and walk around and look at the clothes. Not really interested even though they are having sale cause I have a lot of clothes already, more than enough actually cause it was like once in a blue moon for me to go shopping. Places I go are usually supermarkets like Giant, Econsave and Tesco and not shopping centres, so what's the point dressing up so beautifully? Besides it's kinda weird right? Haha
Niwayz, was looking around for some short pants cause I sort of lack of it. It seems only Institute has shorts! Damn, boring. Institute's shorts are just not my style. Previously bought 2 shorts which was Institute's. The first one was okay as it is plain black and NOT LOOSE. The second one, well, I think I only wore it like... erm... twice? It was loose for me even it is S size!! So... yeah, not gonna buy Institute's shorts anymore. :P
Then continued my hunt at other brand's department. Like I said, it seems only Institute has shorts, so of course my hunt failed. Sad. But when I came to one of my favorite brand, that's VJ Jeans' department, some long pants attracted me. Okay, so it was actually the pink and black belt on the pants that attracts me LOL
I looked at the quarter length pants first, cause I wanted to buy one also. It was quite okay, has 2 colors, brown and black. Couldn't decide which to choose so grab both of it. Then look at the long pants, looks great. So grab it also and went to the fitting room. So the black quarter length pants look good. The brown... erm... no, not my style. And then the long black pants... AWESOME!!! I love it. It makes my legs look great!! It hugs my leg tight but it's comfortable and make it look slender and long, and isn't that what a girl wants? hehehe
But here come the problem... Indecisive. Should I take the long o quarter length pants? Damn!! I hate making decisions. Like hell I love both of it but since it seems I won't be going out frequently it's better to choose only one. But I love both of them!! So mommy says, "Your choice. Take both of it if you want and then you won't have to buy clothes anymore." Woosh~ So I took both of them!! Haha...
Mom and sisters bought some clothes too. And I asked mommy to buy the sharkfin melon, to make soup, cause I like it. So she bought it and some other groceries and we went home~~ Wee~~ Da bao food on the way home... I'm so hungry!!
So reach home, eat, rest. It was like around 3 pm when we reach home and by 4.45 pm or so we went out for second station!! Wooh~
And it's Leisure Mall~~
Nothing for me to buy in LM. So just walked around, or maybe I call it exercise. Damn, just knew that I was actually stupid. Reached at the first buliding, the cinema side, went to Watson, looked around, went to the other building, the boutiques side, and went to Guardian in the same building. Planned to buy somethings I wanted to buy long ago. Why choose Guardian? Cause I thought of collecting the stickers to get the soft toys... Haha
But dammit, they either sell more expensive than Watson or they don't have the thing I want. So to hell with the stickers. :P
And here comes the stupidity. Went into Giant opposite Guardian, looked for mom, found mom, and decided to go back to Watson to buy something. So I went back to Watson, taking back the path I used to go to the boutiques' building, reached Watson, buy my stuff, and decided to go back to the other building to look for mom. So I took the same path AGAIN and when I found mom she just paid in Giant and wanted to go back to the other building( the Watson one)since our car is parked that side. And so I take the path AGAIN!! This is how stupid I can be. =.=
What's for dinner? Fried rice and the leftover chicken rice da bao in the noon and DUMPLING!! yummy~ I helped. I'm a stupid but a good girl. Wakaka
I helped to wash the mountain of dishes too!!
Okay... So this post is a little too long. Thank you and congratz if you read the whole post. Sorry if you didn't cause I know it's boring... Tata~~ :-)
First stop was The Store at Petaling Jaya. Not really thrilled cause that place only has groceries and clothes and partially because a little unhappy, or i should say angry cause of an incident yesterday. Anyway, just went and walk around and look at the clothes. Not really interested even though they are having sale cause I have a lot of clothes already, more than enough actually cause it was like once in a blue moon for me to go shopping. Places I go are usually supermarkets like Giant, Econsave and Tesco and not shopping centres, so what's the point dressing up so beautifully? Besides it's kinda weird right? Haha
Niwayz, was looking around for some short pants cause I sort of lack of it. It seems only Institute has shorts! Damn, boring. Institute's shorts are just not my style. Previously bought 2 shorts which was Institute's. The first one was okay as it is plain black and NOT LOOSE. The second one, well, I think I only wore it like... erm... twice? It was loose for me even it is S size!! So... yeah, not gonna buy Institute's shorts anymore. :P
Then continued my hunt at other brand's department. Like I said, it seems only Institute has shorts, so of course my hunt failed. Sad. But when I came to one of my favorite brand, that's VJ Jeans' department, some long pants attracted me. Okay, so it was actually the pink and black belt on the pants that attracts me LOL
I looked at the quarter length pants first, cause I wanted to buy one also. It was quite okay, has 2 colors, brown and black. Couldn't decide which to choose so grab both of it. Then look at the long pants, looks great. So grab it also and went to the fitting room. So the black quarter length pants look good. The brown... erm... no, not my style. And then the long black pants... AWESOME!!! I love it. It makes my legs look great!! It hugs my leg tight but it's comfortable and make it look slender and long, and isn't that what a girl wants? hehehe
But here come the problem... Indecisive. Should I take the long o quarter length pants? Damn!! I hate making decisions. Like hell I love both of it but since it seems I won't be going out frequently it's better to choose only one. But I love both of them!! So mommy says, "Your choice. Take both of it if you want and then you won't have to buy clothes anymore." Woosh~ So I took both of them!! Haha...
Mom and sisters bought some clothes too. And I asked mommy to buy the sharkfin melon, to make soup, cause I like it. So she bought it and some other groceries and we went home~~ Wee~~ Da bao food on the way home... I'm so hungry!!
So reach home, eat, rest. It was like around 3 pm when we reach home and by 4.45 pm or so we went out for second station!! Wooh~
And it's Leisure Mall~~
Nothing for me to buy in LM. So just walked around, or maybe I call it exercise. Damn, just knew that I was actually stupid. Reached at the first buliding, the cinema side, went to Watson, looked around, went to the other building, the boutiques side, and went to Guardian in the same building. Planned to buy somethings I wanted to buy long ago. Why choose Guardian? Cause I thought of collecting the stickers to get the soft toys... Haha
But dammit, they either sell more expensive than Watson or they don't have the thing I want. So to hell with the stickers. :P
And here comes the stupidity. Went into Giant opposite Guardian, looked for mom, found mom, and decided to go back to Watson to buy something. So I went back to Watson, taking back the path I used to go to the boutiques' building, reached Watson, buy my stuff, and decided to go back to the other building to look for mom. So I took the same path AGAIN and when I found mom she just paid in Giant and wanted to go back to the other building( the Watson one)since our car is parked that side. And so I take the path AGAIN!! This is how stupid I can be. =.=
What's for dinner? Fried rice and the leftover chicken rice da bao in the noon and DUMPLING!! yummy~ I helped. I'm a stupid but a good girl. Wakaka
I helped to wash the mountain of dishes too!!
Okay... So this post is a little too long. Thank you and congratz if you read the whole post. Sorry if you didn't cause I know it's boring... Tata~~ :-)
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Friends forever~
OMG!!! How nice is it to talk bout the past. Just had a roughly 30minutes chat with Miss Bee and I started to miss my past like hell. No doubt past times are always the best, especially childhood. My best times was when I'm 12 years old. I have my great and crazy friends & my wonderful lovely teachers. The laughter and fun we had always remains in my mind and never be erased. Sometime I really really wish that time is reversible. Life would be much more easier. I do not stress like now, do not worry as much as i do now, even studies are easier. All I have to do everyday was to laugh with you all. I'd never dislike any classmates or teachers like I do nowadays. I just miss the time with you all. I could not describe what I'm feeling right now. All I could say was that I MISS TIME WITH YOU ALL, MY TRUE FRIENDS!
Friday, April 16, 2010
What a shame~
OMG! What a lame school i'm in?! How can electric supplies got cut in the middle of an event? Why can't you change the lame old mic so that we can hear clearer? Why can't you just improve a little so that you never embarrass yourself? Oh God~~
Sad~
I'm close to tears. Again you're blaming me. Why can't you see your mistakes? Why do you always pinpoint other's when you're not any better? I know you'll never understand how I feel.
Miserable~
I'm feeling so miserable. Why can't you understand my feelings? I've been with you for 4years and yet you never thank me once for supporting. How long have you know them? Yet you're thanking them in public for supporting you as if i did nothing for you and I don't deserve to be appreciated.
Sadness overwhelmed me. Causing me unable to sleep. Just like the song "Breakeven", "while I'm awake he's no trouble sleeping". You don't know that i cried because of you. You don't know that you caused my heart to ache. All you know is that I'm not good enough, not being patient. What you expect from me after a month of isolation from you? All you know is send me a message whenever you want and ignore me TOTALLY whenever you want too.
I'm still awake at 1a.m when you probably having sweet dreams. Feeling so deeply hurt that I can feel nothing else. Though I feel a little better after crying but that doesn't help me to get to sleep. Keep turning in the bed, keep thinking bout you and me, putting myself into a more miserable state. It's 2.53 a.m, cried for the second time. But you're still sleeping.
I have no idea what I can do to let myself relax my mind and sleep. I tried not to think, but I think more instead. Say the prayer in my head again and again, thankfully it worked. I feel better, more calm and soothe. I started to feel tired, and able to sleep slightly after 3.
Why do we always get the wrong timing? I'm asleep around 3 and your message is 3.15.
Why do you put all the blames on me? I'm still sad. Yeah I'm treating you cold, but you deserve it! I want you to feel how I feel, though I know you might never know how I feel. All you think is yourself. There's more room for your friends and less for me. When will you start to realize how much you hurt me?
Sadness overwhelmed me. Causing me unable to sleep. Just like the song "Breakeven", "while I'm awake he's no trouble sleeping". You don't know that i cried because of you. You don't know that you caused my heart to ache. All you know is that I'm not good enough, not being patient. What you expect from me after a month of isolation from you? All you know is send me a message whenever you want and ignore me TOTALLY whenever you want too.
I'm still awake at 1a.m when you probably having sweet dreams. Feeling so deeply hurt that I can feel nothing else. Though I feel a little better after crying but that doesn't help me to get to sleep. Keep turning in the bed, keep thinking bout you and me, putting myself into a more miserable state. It's 2.53 a.m, cried for the second time. But you're still sleeping.
I have no idea what I can do to let myself relax my mind and sleep. I tried not to think, but I think more instead. Say the prayer in my head again and again, thankfully it worked. I feel better, more calm and soothe. I started to feel tired, and able to sleep slightly after 3.
Why do we always get the wrong timing? I'm asleep around 3 and your message is 3.15.
Why do you put all the blames on me? I'm still sad. Yeah I'm treating you cold, but you deserve it! I want you to feel how I feel, though I know you might never know how I feel. All you think is yourself. There's more room for your friends and less for me. When will you start to realize how much you hurt me?
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